Tying the knot may have seemed simple enough, but ending a union can be surprisingly complicated. There are many factors to consider when you get a divorce, and the complexities could depend on the length of the marriage as well as the involvement of any children.
According to the American Psychological Association, between 40 and 50 percent of U.S. marriages end in divorce. If your marriage is faced with this reality, here are five things to know before getting divorced.
1. It’s Emotionally Trying
Whether you are the one who is seeking the divorce or not, you are going to feel a sense of loss associated with the split. You may experience feelings of sadness, anxiety, and even fear. Even if this is the right thing for everyone, it is going to take time to let go of your old life, which is a grieving process for some.
Fortunately, there are support groups that can help guide you through this emotional transition.
2. You’ll Be Creating a New Life
Part of divorce is letting go of your current life and starting a new one. A common mistake is rushing into a new relationship to fill the void. Instead, take time to heal and figure out who you are before making any other major life changes.
You may already need to move or go back to work. This can be stressful enough. Lean on your support network and slowly rebuild your life after going through a divorce.
3. The Divorce Will Affect Your Children
As much as you want to spare your children the pain and discomfort that you’re going through, the divorce is going to affect them.
It’s important that you be there for your children and avoid saying anything negative about your spouse in their presence. Listen to their concerns, answer their questions honestly, and be willing to provide outside support if needed.
4. You’ll Lose Friends
There is a good chance that you’re going to lose some friends during the divorce process. Mutual friends may decide to take sides, and you may have some other married friends that won’t feel as if they can relate to you anymore.
If you have unhappily married friends, they may fear having a newly-single person around their spouse. Right or wrong, prepare for these uncomfortable events in your future.
5. You’ll Still Need to Deal With Your Ex
You are still going to have to have contact with your ex — particularly if you have children. Your ex may not be your favorite person, but you will have to put your differences aside for the sake of your children.
These post-marriage relationships can by trying, but they can work well if both parties make the appropriate effort. Holidays, which were once family-centered, can be especially difficult, but this will get better with time.
One of the most important things to know before getting divorced is that you have choices in Oklahoma. The state allows for both contested and uncontested divorces, with the former being the most costly, contentious, and time-consuming of the two. With an uncontested divorce, you can agree on major issues (property division, child custody and visitation, child support, and alimony) for a fast and affordable divorce.
MicroDivorce offers and quick, easy, and affordable service for uncontested divorce in Oklahoma. Find out if you qualify.